Great idea!

When you get home from a tough day, chocolate and ice cream
are extremely comforting. Recognize and accept this! You know you're not going
to gain weight from one evening's indulgence, so stop acting like you will ‑-
and enjoy some comfort food. I think a bowl of cereal at night can be comfort
food. I also find pasta very soothing. Eat things you don't normally allow
yourself. I'll bring in goodies "for the kids," and it's extremely satisfying to
savor a bit of it myself!

When you get in the mood...

When you get into the mode of being mom and wife and businesswoman, friendships sometimes take a backseat. Well, there's nothing more fun than connecting with girlfriends. Meeting for coffee or drinks or dinner and a good gossip session can be incredibly indulgent. Try doing things you don't often get to do together. Or schedule things you need ‑- like your manicure and pedicure ‑- when your friends need them too. That way, you've taken care of an errand, had some fun and had a chance to cross something off your to-do list. List all of your fun chores, and get your gal pals to join you! -ivillage.com

Children take naps when they get cranky or sleepy-eyed. And that "night out with the boys" seems to do the men in our lives a world of good after a hard week. But what can busy moms do to reenergize?

"For me it is getting a massage -- it is such a wonderful treat and really
helps me recharge for days!"-- Jan
"Two girlfriends and I are
going to a spa overnight. We have already scheduled our massages and facials,
manicures and pedicures. We will enjoy meals that somebody else has cooked and
not have to wash the dishes or worry about cleaning up the spilled milk. We'll
drink a little wine, soak in a hot tub, catch up on girl talk and stay up late
if we want because we can sleep in the next morning!"-- Melissa

source- ivillage.com

Easy Indulgence

When your kids are young, it's hard to go away without them, but if you want to indulge in a mini vacation without really leaving home, try spending one night at a hotel in the city or town you live in. Hire a babysitter, grab your husband and book a room. You're just a phone call away, but you're still indulging yourself and experiencing that two-of-us time you rarely get at home.

Indulge in...

Indulgence: This one is tried and true, but I can't leave it out. If you're
at home and you need a break, take a long bath. For me, it's not about the
bubbles and the scents. The important part is the ability to lock the door and
relax. Also, getting a massage is one of my favorite indulgences. At the start
of my massage, my mind is usually racing with things that are bothering me. Five
or 10 minutes into it, I'm practically sleeping.

source: Liz Lange, ivillage.com

Breastfeeding: Soothes Baby And Mom

Moms, want to lower stress? Try breastfeeding. Newresearch from the McGill-affiliated Douglas Hospital Research Centre inMontreal shows mothers who breastfeed respond less to stressfulsituations than those who bottle-feed their children. These findingssuggest these mothers may be better able to care for their children.

"It has been well established that breast milk is the best source ofnutrition for infants - it is beneficial to their physical and mentaldevelopment," says Claire-Dominique Walker PhD, senior investigator anddirector of the Neuroscience Research Division at the Douglas HospitalResearch Centre. "Our work now shows that there is a reciprocal benefitof breastfeeding to the mothers -- they react less to stressfulsituations.

This means they will focus more on their children and havemore energy for activities such as attending to their infants andproducing milk -- this is an obvious gain for the children."
Walker and her team, including Sonia J. Lupien, PhD, directorof the Douglas' Centre for Studies on Human Stress and graduate studentMai Tu, studied the stress responses of 25 breastfeeding and 25bottle-feeding mothers, having either one baby or several otherchildren. The moms were exposed to different types of stressfulsituations ranging from those considered "emotional or relevant" --watching a video about hurt and lost children, to those considered"non-threatening or non-relevant" -- such as public speaking and mathproblems.

Stress was determined by measuring the levels of cortisol (astress hormone) in their saliva. The preliminary findings show that thebreastfeeding moms had reduced levels of cortisol (indicating lessstress) during the emotional and non-threatening stress situations.This effect also occurred in response to the relevant stressor, but itwas even more pronounced in experienced breastfeeding mothers (i.e.mothers with several children). This indicates an added potentialbenefit of breastfeeding after repeated deliveries."

"This difference in response to relevant and non-relevant stressors isvery interesting," says Tu. "It means that the experiencedbreastfeeding moms filter out the important stressor from theinsignificant one and that bottle-feeding mothers might be less able todo so. Our findings show some of the bottle-feeding moms to be morereactive to stress, which may lead to less than optimal care for theinfant."

"Our study may also have implications for women prone topost-partum depression," adds Walker. "Post-partum stress is a riskfactor for post-partum depression. If we can better understand how thebreastfeeding moms reduce their stress, by filtering daily lifechallenges we may be able to better treat the moms prone to post-partumdepression."

Affiliated to McGill University and the World Health Organisation, theDouglas Hospital Research Centre is one of the largest in the country,with a team of over 60 scientists and clinical researchers and 180post-graduate students. This team is devoted to understanding thecauses of mental disorders -- whether genetic, environmental, culturalor social -- as well as developing diagnostic tools, treatments andprevention methods.

Indulgence #1

Here's the scenario: You've come to the end of a high-stress day. You need to get out of the office and home to the kids. And you need to find time for yourself. What do you do, how do you do it and what's the result?
I think it's really important to get relief. And it can be easy and inexpensive ‑- and sometimes free ‑- to transition from the pressures of work to a relaxing evening at home.
Indulgence #1: Weather permitting, I find it really relaxing to walk home. Get out of the office, take a walk, let your mind wander, be free. Think about things that are in the present. Then think about something fun that's on the horizon. Push yourself to release the pressuring thoughts. Music really helps. After work, I grab my iPod, which is filled with songs that I enjoy. They might be uplifting, peaceful or relaxing. And if you can't walk home, you'll still find that it makes all the difference in the world to simply play some music in the car. It's extremely relaxing ‑- a great transition.
source- ivillage.com

Before you return to work

While you're still on maternity leave, set yourself up for a successful return to work.
Let go of the guilt. Returning to work often poses emotional conflicts for new mothers. But working outside the home doesn't make you a bad mother. And it's OK to look forward to the challenges and interactions of your job. Remind yourself that you're doing what's best for you and your family, and then move on.

Find dependable child care. Consider local child care providers and facilities or make other arrangements for child care, perhaps even before the baby is born. Look for a safe, stimulating environment and qualified caregivers. Trust your instincts when interviewing potential caregivers.

Talk to your boss. Clarify your job duties and schedule so you'll know what's expected of you after your maternity leave. You might ask about flexible hours, telecommuting or working part time.

If you're planning to continue breast-feeding after returning to work, ask your employer to help you find a private room for pumping. Consider buying or renting an electric breast pump that allows you to pump both breasts at once. If timing is a concern, offer alternatives — pumping during your breaks or working from home to make up for the lost time, for example.
Set a return-to-work date.

If you can, go back to work late in the week. That'll make your first week back to work a short one

Keeping my Identity

Parenting can be the strangest, hardest and most fulfilling job you've ever had. There are many exhilirations that come with being a parent. But every coin has a flip side, and one of the rough spots that the moms of Parent Soup wrestle with is the feeling that their personal identity often comes second to their roles of wife, mother, employee, etc., etc. How can you keep a balance between being true to yourself and putting your family first? And are you a horrible mother if you long to spend some "me time?" Here, the wonderful women who frequent Parent Soup talk about how they stay true to themselves in the midst of their family lives.
"I became a stay-at-home mom last summer. My husband takes the kids to my in-laws' weekend place about once every six months so I can rejuvenate. The first time I didn't think the weekend was long enough, but now I miss them by about Saturday afternoon."
"I make it a point to go out with a bunch of friends at least once a month. It is great for finding myself again."
"Take some time out for yourself! I find that my family is happier when I'm happier. If that means taking a little time for myself, then I do it."
"For me, it took going back to college and pursuing something I really wanted. I met people that I got to know not because I'm a mother/wife/housekeeper. I met people who were boring, interesting, young, old and who made me love and appreciate my family more. I was able to do it because my kids were in school themselves. Putting your mind to work is a wonderful feeling!"
"When I start feeling that way, that's when I have to take a shopping trip, girls' night out, or just rent some sappy love story movie that nobody else wants to watch and sit with a big bowl of ice cream!! I've also started some hobbies -- scrapbooking, gardening, playing on the computer -- that are my things and nobody else's! It's also nice to take a vacation by yourself or with a friend. Don't worry, those aren't unusual feelings, I don't think. If they are, then I'm unusual too!" "After being a stay at home mom for 22 years, I still feel like I have an identity of wife, Mom, and of course the picture lady at the school. I have no identity, but I know who I am. I am Me, a sum total of all those things, and the lady who yells at teenagers speeding up and down my street, the lady who will go to church and take care of anything that needs to be taken care of, and the lady who will be there if you want me to be. I guess you might say that I am a well rounded (size 24), loud mouth, mother who put up with nothing without a fight, and a wife of 22 years and a mother to 5 boys. That . . . and I am a force to reckoned with." -ivillage.com

Time-saving tips for working moms

Being a working mom has never been easy. Work stress, family pressures, childcare dilemmas and time management issues can take their toll. As a result, you could find yourself praying for a smoother daily routine. Feeling tempted to quit your job/ career. Looking more unkempt as the days go by.

Giving up or getting frustrated is not the solution. Try our tips to help you juggle all those responsibilities better. Home: Organise and delegate

~ Have a 'clean-up' routine every night before you go to bed, where every family member puts things back in their right place. Even toddlers can help.
Older kids can help put their toys away, fold laundry and make their own bed. This not only saves you time, but also gives them a sense of independence. Praise your kids for their effort and watch them beam.

~ Enlist your hubby's help to set the table and clear it. Shyamala Arya, a 26-year old sales executive from Mumbai, says, "My husband does not mind sharing chores but he needs to be told what exactly to do. More important, he does not want to hear 'Oh no, not like that!' or 'I could have done it better myself!' Men want appreciation." Resist criticising his methods and your husband will be happy to help.

~ Make mornings less hectic by planning ahead. Finish things like packing schoolbags and ironing clothes. Decide what you want to wear to work the next day and keep it ready the night before.

Before you return from work

Decide on a return-to-work date. Discuss with your employer your options for how much time you can take for maternity leave. You might not have the luxury of deciding whether or not to return to work, but you can take as much time as you're allowed. Choose a day that's later in the week to make your first week back to work a short one.

Find dependable child care. The thought of leaving your newborn in someone else's care can be troubling. Finding a reliable child care provider whom you trust can ease your mind considerably. Your child care options range from individual in-home care to a child care center.

Give yourself time to research facilities in your area and to get on waiting lists, if necessary.
Have a talk with your boss. Discuss your job duties and schedule so you'll know what's expected of you when you return. If your workplace offers some flexibility, ask about flexible hours or working from home on occasion. Be prepared to suggest ways of making a more flexible arrangement work.

Once you're back at work
Manage your time and be organized. Combining a job with raising a child demands honed time management and organizational skills. You have a lot of responsibilities, and to make sure they're all attended to — and that you maintain some sense of sanity — set up a system for making sure everything gets done. Too many demands and not enough of you to go around means you may have to let less important matters slide.

Stay connected. Find little ways to stay connected with your baby when you're away from him or her. Plan a daily phone call to see how your baby's doing. Keep some photos on your desk.

Look forward to spending time with your baby that evening.
Make backup plans. There will be days when your baby is sick or your child care center is closed. Be prepared with alternative plans on those days. Check with your employer beforehand about taking time off when your child is sick. Talk with a family member or close friend in advance about filling in if you can't bring your baby to child care.

Accept that you'll feel guilty or sad at times. If you're like a lot of mothers, you'll struggle with feelings of guilt. You might feel sad that you can't spend as much time as you'd like with your baby. These feelings are common, and it might help to discuss them with your friends or other mothers in similar circumstances. Talk to your spouse about how you're feeling. If your sadness or guilty feelings are increasing or overwhelming, mention them to your doctor.
Establish a support system.

Give up trying to do it all yourself. Accept help from your partner, family members and friends. Seek out other working mothers who can offer support as you make the transition back to work.
Take time for yourself. As difficult as this may seem, take time to nurture your own well-being. Taking the baby for a walk is enjoyable for your baby, and it's good exercise for you. Rely on easy-to-prepare meals or a relaxing bath after putting your baby to bed to help ease stress. If you feel less stressed, you'll be able to better enjoy your baby when you're together.
Get as much rest as possible.

You'll have times when you feel so tired you'll wonder how you can do it all. Unfortunately, fatigue goes hand in hand with being a new parent. Try going to bed early one night each week to catch up on sleep. Cut down on unnecessary commitments. Set aside time on weekends to take a nap while your baby is sleeping. The better rested you are, the easier it will be to handle those everyday problems that crop up.

Combining motherhood with work isn't easy. Certainly you'll have days when you won't feel like going to work, especially if your baby is fussy or seems particularly clingy. But as you and your child become used to your schedule, as your baby settles into a routine and as you become more adept at managing multiple demands, you'll learn how to handle these normal ups and downs

7 ways to CHILL OUT

1. Remember how you felt when you fell in love with your partner and allow yourself to recreate that feeling.
2. Write a love letter (to your partner, children, parents, friends...)
3. Treat yourself to a manicure and a pedicure.
4. Rent a great video.
5. Start a gratitude journal and express your thanks on a daily basis.
6. Go to the beach. Delight and bask in the warming rays of the sun.
7. Visit your favorite bookstore (the one with comfortable chairs and a coffee shop) and spend the afternoon.

Moms, let's do this to de-stress

1. Put on your favorite music, turn it up loud and dance.
2. Call your best friend and settle in with a hot cup of tea, for a good long talk.
3. Snuggle up in bed with a good book.
4. Sink into your tub for a long, luxurious soak at the end of the day.
5. Indulge in getting (or giving) a massage.
6. Snack on your favorite "comfort food."