Correcting bad behavior in toddlers

By: Barbara Turvett, You're back to work and settled into a routine with your baby—feeding, sleeping, quality time, child care, schedules and all. But soon your innocent babe is all personality and pluck, crawling and getting into things, grabbing at the window shades and banging every object in sight. Is it time for some discipline? And just how do you discipline a baby or toddler?The key is to see discipline as guiding and teaching rather than punishing or penalizing. You can do this with a baby in two simple ways, says Edward R. Christophersen, PhD, a professor of pediatrics at Children's Mercy Hospitals and Clinics in Kansas City, MO, and the author of Parenting That Works: Briefly interrupt an activity if it's unsafe or unsuitable, and offer attention when she does things right.For instance, if your baby pulls your hair or pinches you, set her down on the floor for several seconds and then pick her up before she starts to fuss. "This shows her she gets removed from Mom's attention if she does something unacceptable," explains Dr. Christophersen. "It's like a tiny time-out from positive engagement." Should you squeeze or even
gently slap her hand? No, Dr. Christophersen counsels, because it sends the message that when someone does something we don't like, we slap. You could take her hand away and say, "No," and she may or may not get the message. But she will understand when you interrupt the positive for a moment.If an active baby gets into something she shouldn't, never slap or spank, Dr. Christophersen reiterates. Just pick her up, move her to a safe play area and offer playthings to engage her. "A young child who often gets into things needs more attention when doing what you allow (and occasionally more toys to occupy her)." So try the "catch 'em being good" method. Spend more time paying attention during appropriate behavior. Occasionally signal approval to your happily playing child with unobtrusive gentle contact—a brief pat or touch—so that good behavior is reinforced without interrupting her activity. And get your caregiver on board for consistency. This positive, quiet contact is the kind of attention that will help your baby learn to enjoy independent play and even to soothe herself—no discipline required. Attention Getters From Dr. Edward R. Christophersen, healthy ways to show your child that misbehavior won't win your attention but good behavior will. If your baby acts up in her high chair, blowing food at you or dropping it on the floor rather than eating, turn her chair away from the table—and from you—for a few quiet seconds. When your young toddler won't stop crying, place her in her playpen and walk away. When she's quiet for just five seconds, bring her back to where the action is. Five seconds of calm is all that's needed to show her what works.