Grandparent love!

By: Barbara Turvett
What working mom doesn't know how valuable grandparents are when it comes to the care of her baby! But there's a bonus in the grandparent/tot relationship that's worth promoting—especially during the holidays, when your child may get to spend extra time with extended family. Whether they're close to home or across the country, your parents can give your baby or toddler a wonderful gift: unconditional love without the parameters of everyday interaction, says social psychologist Susan Newman, PhD, author of 13 books, including Little Things Mean a Lot: Creating Happy Memories With Your Grandchildren. "Children form bonds early, so grandparents can show them there are others to love, be comforted by and turn to later in life beyond Mommy, Daddy and caregiver," she says.Another perk: Grandparents are like family glue, offering continuity in a family's history and traditions. "A tradition may begin with the gift your parent gives your baby (that special silver rattle)," says Dr. Newman, "or the first cooking lesson (watch your toddler become the mashed potato king)." And when Grandma sings him the lullaby she once sang to you, a time-honored ritual is transported through the
generations. Later on, she can remind him, "We've done this since you were a baby, and I sang the same song to your mom." Or she may be the first to point out, "I remember the first word I heard you say as a baby. It was 'ball.'"So, Mom, take a break and leave Grandma and the baby together to connect. "Trust your parent or in-law," Dr. Newman suggests. "Let her feed, hold and cuddle him. Put out favorite toys and play a CD so she can hum or sing to him." Worried that her parenting style might not jive with yours? "You don't have to agree about everything," Dr. Newman adds. "Nor do you need to argue about all your differences." Just be clear about things like putting the baby on his back to nap or what his feeding schedule is. You can even show her an article on child safety to help you feel comfortable. More than anything, your baby's grandparent wants to be with him, so she'll most likely respect your wishes. And their time together will bring big benefits to both of them—now and for years to come.
Long-Distance BondingMake it a point to nurture your child's relationship with his grandparents when they're not around on a regular basis, says social psychologist Dr. Susan Newman.Keep photos of the grandparents in prominent positions in your home to remind your toddler that they're important to your family.Send a letter, card or email you write together to Granddad. Or mail your child's painting or a photograph of a block structure he created. It will make your little guy feel important because his grandfather will see this.Talk about your parents at the dinner table—stories of growing up with them, what they're up to now—to give your young child an early sense of familial community